connect socially: learn The Chinese Basketball association (CBA) Approach
engage and connect with people today using the chinese basketball association (CBA) approach
Just getting your attention… :P
You may be thinking: “What the heck does the Chinese Basketball Association [CBA] have to teach me about how to engage and connect well with others?
And the truth is … you are absolutely spot on … the Chinese Basketball Association—as far as I know—does not have much to say about your social skills and ability to connect with people.
The only connection the Chinese Basketball Association [CBA] has with connecting well with others is being the first thing that popped in my head as a mnemonic to remember 3 very helpful social prompts:
Curious, Believe the best, Add value.
Both Chinese Basketball Association and Curious, Believe the best, Add value share the initials CBA—thus easier to remember, lol.
Take or leave the Chinese Basketball Association mnemonic,
what is important is:
Remember these 3 helpful social prompts
Curious, Believe the best, Add value: these are game changers when applied to your relationships.
CBA: Explained & How to Use It
CBA=
Curious,
Believe the Best,
Add Value.
How to apply CBA in your interactions:
Curious:
Set an intention to enter your next conversation curious about the other person. One way to do this is to imagine talking with a good friend about a mutual friend you have not seen lately: “I wonder what Billy Bob has been up to lately? Have you heard from him at all? The last time I saw Billy Bob, he was about to have that huge talk with his girlfriend and he was both nervous but determined. Gosh, I wonder how that went for him?”
Believe the Best:
Intentionally think well of this person:
Picture this person as a baby or in an ugly sweater only he thinks is suave.
Bring to mind good laughs and memorable experiences shared.
What are his admirable qualities? Endearing quirks?
If it’s hard to think of any positive traits of this person, remind yourself:
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
~Plato
Add Value:
Finally, choose to deliberately bless this person.
Curiosity and Believing the best
set you up to not merely make small-talk but to meaningfully connect with this person. By enfusing the conversation with C and B you’ve already brought in empathy, disarmed unhelpful stories, and shifted to kindness.
Now you are in a great position to ADD VALUE to this person. Look for a way, in word or deed, to genuinely compliment, encourage, or help out. Think, how can I tangibly leave this person in a better place than before we interacted?
Focus on what matters,
Charles
