AM and PM Rituals to Start up, Wind Down, and Win the Day:
“Half the battle of living a great day is won in what you do right when you wake up and before you lie your head down at night”
-Me
Your–likely automatic– actions when waking up and right before drifting off to sleep have an outsized impact on whether you have a great day or merely survive it.
Sample Morning Rituals:
Turn off alarm
Sleep 30 more minutes
Check phone, start scrolling
Bathroom stop while scrolling phone
Watch news or youtube videos for 30 minutes)
Sample Pre-Sleep Ritual:
Watch Youtube video on phone for 15 mins on phone [… which actually ends up being 90 mins…(!) ]
Well-crafted AM and PM Rituals do for your life what working overtime (OT) does for your job: it multiplies the value of your time spent. However, where OT gives you 1.5 - 2x your normal pay, your morning and nightly rituals exponentially increases the value of the time you put in.
I’m going to use the 64-4 rule to best illustrate the exceeding value of morning and bedtime routines: Your morning and nightly rituals take up a fraction of your day (4%) yet largely determine the quality of most of your day (64%).
WHY Rituals not Routines?
Routine = One or more actions
Ritual = One or more actions done with meaningful intention/value
THE STORY OF THE 3 BRICKLAYERS:
One day in 1671, Christopher Wren observed three bricklayers on a scaffold, one crouched, one half-standing and one standing tall, working very hard and fast. To the first bricklayer, Christopher Wren asked the question, “What are you doing?” to which the bricklayer replied, “I’m a bricklayer. I’m working hard laying bricks to feed my family.” The second bricklayer, responded, “I’m a builder. I’m building a wall.” But the third brick layer, the most productive of the three and the future leader of the group, when asked the question, “What are you doing?” replied with a gleam in his eye, “I’m a cathedral builder. I’m building a great cathedral to The Almighty.”
In the above parable, the 2nd brick-layer conducts his work as a routine: actions done without intention/value. He answers Mr. Wren’s question with an obvious, “duh” response:
Mr. Wren: “Whatcha doing?”
2nd Brick-layer: [essentially] “...Stuff…”
The 1st and 3rd brick-layers’ answers show they conduct work as a ritual: with intention towards personal values.
The 3rd brick-layer conducts his work in the most ritualized way: he’s highly attentive (“standing tall…”) and he sees his work as a calling and not just a paycheck: “I’m building a great cathedral to The Almighty.”). He does his work with gusto (“with a gleam in his eye”) and is the most productive of the 3.
Rituals are a type-of alchemy; they take mundane, often boring actions—like brick-laying or work—and infuse them with significance.
C.S. Lewis eloquently captures the battle between doing what we know is wise vs. what feels right in the moment; #the-struggle-is-real:
“It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind.”
~ C.S. Lewis
When we care about what we do, we are more likely to repeat these actions and enjoy doing them. This virtuous feedback loop (value-based action-> joy -> value-based action…repeat ad infinitum) provides sustaining motivation to consistently practice these rituals until they become enduring habits: occuring with little or no conscious effort…
By using rituals, the mundane actions essential in creating an amazing day can be done joyfully, consistently, and –over time– habitually (easily, and automatically).
3 TOOLS to make AM AND PM RITUALS EASIER:
Tool 1: Build Identity-Based Habits:
*Hat-tip to James Clear, author of “Atomic Habits” for his “Identity-Based Habits” framework.
Think of Identity-Based Habits as the same thing as the rituals we are discussing. James gives a simple and easy way to start building morning and bed-time rituals:Decide the type of person you want to be [this is the intentional value/meaning that makes this a ritual]
Prove it to yourself with small wins.
Example: Want to wake up at 5am?
Identity: Become the type of person who makes the most of their time and can do hard things.
Small win: Go to bed tonight 15 minutes earlier than your normal bedtime. Wake up in the morning 15 minutes earlier than your normal wake-up time. Tomorrow night, go to bed and wake-up 20 minutes earlier. In 2 nights, 25 minutes earlier bedtime and wake-up time. If you keep adding 5 minutes you are much more likely to get to 5am wake-up than if you try to go from getting up at 9am to getting-up at 5am.
Tool 2: Habit-Stacking
*Okay, I’m borrowing from James again. But this has been so helpful to me that I’m going to include it because I think you’ll get a lot from it!
The Habit-Stacking Formula:
After/Before [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].
Examples:
After I pour my cup of coffee each morning, I will pray and give thanks for one minute.
After I brush my teeth at night, I will set out running shoes and clothes and fill my water bottle.
Examples of Habit-Stacking Applied to Building AM/PM Rituals:
Start with getting a consistent wake-up time:
Morning : • Consistent wake up time
Once you have this down, then habit stack a 2nd valued action:
Morning: • Consistent wake up time-> Drink 20 oz. cold water and vitamins
Once you have this down, then habit stack a 3rd valued action:
Morning: • Consistent wake up time-> Drink 20 oz. cold water and vitamins-> Pray and give thanks for 1 minute
Tool 3: 2 Birds, 1 Stone:
Combine habit-stacking with some foresight to leverage your Evening Ritual to make your Morning Ritual much easier and likelier to occur.
Examples:
Want to wake up at 5am consistently? 1st focus on going to bed the night before at 10pm consistently. Mastering an early and consistent bedtime makes mastering waking up at 5am much easier and likely.
Want to drink 20oz. water right when you wake-up? 1st focus on consistency in filling-up your water bottle and placing it near your bed as part of your evening ritual. Then when you wake up in the morning, instead of having to get out of bed, find your water bottle and fill it up, all you need to do is reach over, while still lying in bed, grab your water bottle and drink. Much easier, huh?
AM and PM Rituals take up a fraction of your day (4%) yet largely determine the quality of most of your day (64%). Rituals are a type-of alchemy; they take mundane, often boring actions—like brick-laying or work—and infuse them with significance. They provide sustaining motivation to consistently practice until they become enduring habits: occuring with little or no conscious effort.
By using rituals, the mundane actions essential in creating an amazing day can be done joyfully, consistently, and –over time– habitually (easily, and automatically).
Focus on what matters,
Charles
